Ears That Read and Edit

At 73, my self-image had vanished. Who was this newly blinded (RP) me? How was this stranger to get me back into fulfilling life? Doubts were many. During sighted years as a business journal editor, my focus was on professional advancements and appreciable remuneration's. All was changed now ... Forced into retirement, survival became my new focus.

My wife had passed away. I was alone, in a dilemma with many chores vision had once taken for granted. My stricken soul became inflamed with preservation needs. "Find me," it seemed to be saying, "or misfortune awaits. Stop your sieges of empty futility. They throw you into holes you need to avoid. Ruminations about impending doom will turn you to booze and drugs, not to your former self image."

In my second year of sightless adjustment, a vision appeared. It was a typewriter keyboard. I had pounded typewriters for years, but now, of course, typewriters were beyond me. This keyboard, however, was attached to a computer. I knew absolutely nothing about computers. How plausible can it be for my advanced age? Return to written words without sight? The vision was meant to help, but I balked, openly irritated at obvious ignorance. But the vision insisted it was not a false lure. It will talk my written words. Shaking my head, I mumbled, "Read my written words? What gets it talking? Read with my ears? Edit with my ears? Were they kidding?

They were not kidding. In following months my fingers fondled a keyboard that spoke my typed sentences. Step by step instructions gradually weakened my objections. For an old dog like me, there I was, learning a new trick. Seated before the talking miracle, my ears were reading and editing sentences paragraphs, and entire essay. A talking computer had actually released a missing bodily function. I press keys and my writing is read back. A technical wonder was ballooning my worn out hopes.

Elation zoomed, but a cautious instinct warmed, "Enjoy this victory, but remember, you cannot retain a victorious glow without more growing pains. All will vanish if you fail to view yourself in a rejuvenated state, to appear again only through continued efforts. Writing without vision is great, but doubts may still appear. Steadily and slowly, you old battler. Slowly and steadily." And, like a mounded respecter of instincts, I obeyed. And am doing so still.