Please login to post a response.

• Single mom with Ushers 2
• Posted: 2008-05-01 07:01:09 By Carol B
• Hi
  I'm a single mom of a 9 month old daughter. I have Usher 2. I'm writing to this forum to see if there are any other women who are in a similar position to me.
  I'm desperately lonely. While family and friends help me out, I just feel so so alone. I guess this has been triggered by the recent deterioration in my sight. Before I had limited tunnel vision and now my vision is misty (best way I can describe it). I guess tiredness and feeling very nervous for my baby doesn't help matters at all. Because of this deterioration, I rarely go outside my door. I keep saying to myself there has to be a better way but I just don't know how. I feel I should now look to getting some mobility training to use a cane, but how do I use a cane while pushing the stroller?
  So, if there are any Usher moms out there, please can you tell me any tips on coping with a young baby. My daughter is great - she endures the spoon going all over her face before it reaches her mouth. She's now crawling, so that is a bit stressful because one minute I see her, and the next I don't.
  Many thanks for taking the time to read this.
  
  

• Re: Single mom with Ushers 2
• Posted: 2008-05-01 10:29:58 By Darran Z
• Hi Carol,
  
  I hope you will include "Mr. Mom" here. I am currently home with a 19 month old baby. It's certainly has been a challenge due to my inability to see. I certainly know that "she was just here, now where'd she go?" stresses me out. I franktically go looking for her but she is right there.
  
  I finally got one of those playpen fence things to put her in so she's secured in a play pen. Once she got older, I eventually bought gates to lock her in a certain room (with me in it of course) so she doesn't leave that room. It certainly takes alot of stress out when you have multiple layer home (stairs).
  
  As for the feeding, I had a neighbor come help me feed her for a few months until she was able to feed herself. Sometimes you might need someone but it may only be temporary for this stage in the baby's life.
  
  As for the "mist" vision you described, have you seen an ophthalmologist lately? I am wondering if you are developing CME (cystod macular edema) which can be treated and improve central vision and clear that up. If left untreated, it can cause perminant damage.
  
  You might also consider taking a parenting class (not that you are a bad parent) to learn tips on how to address these questions. I know that Hadley School for the Blind (free for those who qualify and is distance education based) offers such for blindness. I used to teach a parenting skills class for deaf parents. Not because they are bad parents but because certain techniques are better. Many deaf parents have hearing children so it can be a challenge.
  
  Those are just a few ideas I had right off the bat.
  
  Darran

• Re: Re: Single mom with Ushers 2
• Posted: 2008-05-01 13:16:46 By Carol B
• Hi Darran
  Firstly, my sincerest apologies to you and all the Mr Mom's out there. In all my despair I forgot that there can be dads in the same dilemma too.
  Thank you so much for your reply. You're right, I must get a couple of gates pretty quickly. Today I came across a website that sells 'squeaky' shoes, so you can hear your baby walking about. I just wonder if the squeaks are loud enough, and also, are the squeaks bearable, in other words, don't drive you insane.
  My mom is very helpful when it oomes to feeding, but there comes a point that I have to limit her visits, because she has her own life, and also she has a tendency to be very very very overprotective. I am so grateful for her help but sometimes, my limits are tested when she, or anyone else for that matter, try to undermine my parenting approach. I believe that my daughter will have to discover things for herself, but obviously to a point that she is not in danger. She tries to chew everything in her reach. I'm of the view she has to taste things in order to know that they are not worth tasting. Dont' worry, folks, the poisons and plastics are well out of reach. But things such as paper and remote controls and cushions have all been tried and tasted.
  Thanks for the suggestion to see an eye specialist, which I will do without delay.
  Well, Darran, I no longer feel alone. Thank you so much for brightening my day.
  Best wishes to you and yours.
  Carol

• Re: Single mom with Ushers 2
• Posted: 2008-05-04 16:47:37 By Keith V
• Hi Carol,
  
  Mr. Mom here too. I have a highly self destructive 3 year old. He also runs around everywhere.
  
  You are not alone.
  
  You are also very strong for asking for help with such candor.
  
  I am also a Ushers 2 with that misty sort of not blurred but white bleeding into everything kind of vision. I also have to 'hunt' for my kid when he has taken off.
  
  You are not at all a bad mom so please don't feel like to have to assure anyone that poisons etc. are out of reach. I am not sure if you can relate, but I feel like people are judging and watching me... especially when I am walking around with a kid and a cane. So you are in sympathetic company.
  
  So just realize that you do have others out there who are experiencing the same frustrations.
  
  The only practical advice I can give you (which you may already know and do) is to extend your tendency to create a safe environment. This would reduce your stress when the baby is missing.
  
  For exmaple, baby gates; use them but watch out for them. I have almost killed myself tripping over them. :) Also, you can buy plastic door knob covers. These will prevent the kid from opening doors. If you have a stove, I would remove the stove knobs. There are many other examples. Taking these steps dramatically reduced my stress level when I couldn't locate the kid immediately.
  
  When I am alone with my kid, I like to set up the house to be very 'closed.' For example, we might decide to watch Ice Age in the bedroom. So, I will shut all doors and set up a baby gate in the hall way. That way we only have access to the kitchen and the master bedroom. If he tries to get over the baby gate or into a room, I can hear well enough to tell where he is (I have hearing aids).
  
  I hope all of this helps. Again, don't feel like anyone here would judge you. Parenting is a skill. More so because you are having to deal with limited vision and hearing. Everyone has to learn; especially in today's chemified and electrified world.

• Single Mom
• Posted: 2008-11-18 20:32:35 By Thomas V
• Carol,
  
  This is another Mr.Mom. I use a backpack (or frontpack) to carry my kids around. I think your kids is a bit big by now, though. There was a velcro leash I used on my daughter. Leash with a telephone type cord that stretches. While I can't tell precisely where she was I can feel about where she was. Mobility training is essential. You will need that long after the stroller days. I lose my kids all the time. When that happens, I get down on my knees to be on a level with the kids and do a lighthouse pass. I usually find the kid. Good luck, Mom!